Dear Past Self: Everything is waiting for you
A letter to my past self from 10 years ago.
Dear me (from 10 years ago),
Hey, it’s you, a decade down the road, writing from a remote mining town in the Western Australian desert. Life takes unexpected turns, doesn't it?
It feels like I am in another epoch, just like the one you’re in now. You are going to have an amazing journey ahead of you, not always an easy one but a rewarding one, filled with self-discovery, growth and transformation. I know this sounds cliche and you’re probably thinking more? Well buckle up because you have a wild ride ahead of you.
How life in Brisbane? Is it what you expected?
You’re still in the honeymoon period loving the change of living in a new city, exploring new places and enjoying new experiences, but you will as you always do, will have itchy feet again. It’s not such a bad thing I suppose as this is the essence of both you and Andrew. You love the adventure and sharing new experiences together.
You will have a big, unexpected move to North America that will change your life. Eventually, you'll find yourselves back in Brisbane, which is not what you or Andrew want at the time, but I know many more adventures await us.
Your current job may not seem as impactful as compared to that of the previous company - who were at the forefront of HR, sustainability and innovation but it will be the foundation for your success in 10 years.
A fulfilling career, great friendships, global travel, and countless adventures with Andrew and Dylan lie ahead. I won’t spoil it all but this decade will be defined by exploration, self discovery and learning to love the version of the woman you were always meant to be.
I know you moved to Brisbane as a new adventure but I know deep down you are also running away. That feeling of not belonging will fade as you connect with your true identity and find comfort in your own skin.
You will have many out-of-this-world transformative experiences. And no, I'm not talking about psychedelics or drinking Ayahuasca (we haven't done that either!). These experiences and moments will resonate with your soul and shape your understanding of the universe. I know that sounds mysterious but you will know when these moments arrive.
You are hard working so learn to balance hard work with moments of rest and rejuvenation. It's a lesson I learned the hard way. Be kind to yourself.
Parenthood will bring its own set of challenges and imperfections. No one navigates it flawlessly. Dylan will blossom into a wonderful young man, perhaps different from the image you hold now, but loved unconditionally and you and Andrew will not live vicariously through him.
I am guessing that you have realised that you only had one child, you will try but sometimes it’s just not written in the stars and you will make the right decisions, even though it doesn’t seem like it at the time.
Looking back, I am amazed at the things you will accomplish. You will be too. Embrace the unfolding journey, guided by the universe and your inner compass. Believe in yourself.
A decade from now, a quote from Rick Rubin will resonate deeply and let it be your mantra.
"Success occurs in the privacy of your soul."
Finally, a poem by David Whyte, a reminder that you are never truly alone.
"Everything is Waiting for You"
With love and anticipation for the incredible journey ahead,
Your Future Self
Read or listen to Everything is Waiting for You
Your great mistake is to act the drama as if you were alone. As if life were a progressive and cunning crime with no witness to the tiny hidden transgressions. To feel abandoned is to deny the intimacy of your surroundings. Surely, even you, at times, have felt the grand array; the swelling presence, and the chorus, crowding out your solo voice. You must note the way the soap dish enables you, or the window latch grants you freedom. Alertness is the hidden discipline of familiarity. The stairs are your mentor of things to come, the doors have always been there to frighten you and invite you, and the tiny speaker in the phone is your dream-ladder to divinity. Put down the weight of your aloneness and ease into the conversation. The kettle is singing even as it pours you a drink, the cooking pots have left their arrogant aloofness and seen the good in you at last. All the birds and creatures of the world are unutterably themselves. Everything is waiting for you.